So I feel like I keep saying this over and over on this blog but I just started my freshman year of college. I go to a school that is majority female, so I expected a little bit of that competitive feeling that comes along with an environment that lacks males. What I did not expect was to see so many educated young women throwing themselves at guys.
With one exception (Heartcrushed Not Heartbroken) I have never been the type of girl to get caught up in feelings for a guy. Now that I have had that experience I slightly understand the appeal, it is nice to feel like somebody cares about you, or (I’m ashamed to write this) the warm protected feeling that comes from being in a guy’s arms, or even worse the confidence from knowing that there is somebody out there who wants you. However the negative outcome of that experience has kept me from wanting to ever feel that way again. Just the thought of some guy making me act a complete fool to get his attention, or the loss of dignity that comes from getting excited when he sends me a text, and worse the depression that follows his inevitable loss of interest, makes me want to actually gouge my own eyes out with my toenails. Sorry for the graphic image but this is something I feel passionately about.
When you take a walk on this campus I promise you, male or female, your jaw will drop at the beauty of the women who attend this school. I feel both excited and intimidated to be a part of it, because I feel I have to always look presentable to keep up with the unspoken standard of beauty this school has for its females. There is also an aura of confidence that surrounds the women of this school that probably results from the fact that they know that they are all beautiful and more importantly they are all intelligent.
That being said I do not understand why I have met people here who will debase themselves to attract the guys that go here! I have met girls who date guys who openly cheat on them, or girls who allow men to objectify them simply because they want some form of attention. I’m not saying I am against dating or even wearing clothes that some might consider revealing, just that it saddens me to see fellow young women lose sight of who they are while attempting to “get a man.”
I just want to know if there is some sort of in between. While I am taking a break from the whole romance thing for a while because I clearly cannot handle it at this point in time, that doesn’t mean I don’t hope to try again in the future. With that being said I don’t like the idea of having to be disrespected by a man in order to have a man. All I want is to know that I can be in a relationship with someone who respects me, and that I respect myself when I am with them. I know this topic is cliché but it is just now caught my interest so I had to blog about it.
Does this post make me a feminist? I hope it does. I like to consider myself a feminist, I don’t know if I am informed enough on the subject of feminism to truly be a part of it, but I hope to become more informed over the next few years here.